Dr. Sucker

Written by Bootsauce, from Bootsauce, 1995

(Dr. Sucker!) x 3
(Sample A: Oh, uh, nurse, will you see that we're not disturbed?)

Lonny fell down at the Five & Dime,
She was a-screaming, "Something's bust"
I said, "I can help you honey, fix your funnybone for money,
But with me, your trust's a must"
If you really need the doctor, what I prescribe
Is the baddest motherfucker to specialize

Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
They call him Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
They call him Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)

(Sample B: The doctor will see you now...!)

Johnny fell in with the easy crowd,
And they could party something fierce
If you really wanna party, what I prescribe
Is the dopest motherfucker who's still alive

Dr. Sucker! (x 4)
Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
A nasty motherfucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The baddest motherfucker!(yeah yeah yeah yeah)

(Sample A)

Johnny fell head over heels for Lonny,
Had to treat the man for lust
I don't wanna take your money, but I wanna take your honey
Give you oxygen's a must
If you really need a doctor who'll do you right,
Call 976-HE'LL-SATISFY

(yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
(Sample C: Mother...fucker.)
(yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
(Sample C: ...Fixer...upper.)

Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
A nasty motherfucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The baddest motherfucker!(yeah yeah yeah yeah) (x 2)
Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
A real loosen-upper! (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Dr. Sucker! (yeah yeah yeah yeah...)

Notes:

• In the 1980s-1990s, phone numbers that started with 900 belonged to premium-rate phone services. The 9-prefix denoted that callers would be charged for additional services; 976 numbers typically belonged to psychic hotlines, celebrity voice lines, and most iconically, adult phone sex lines. Dr. Sucker's phone number starting with "976" basically means you're calling for a "special" service.